Long distance relationships are hard.
And when we run into a difficult situation, what do we do in this day and age when we need advice? That’s right, we Google it!
Well after I found myself in an LDR, that’s exactly what I did. And I immediately noticed something: there were little to no tips for Christian LDR couples. Most of the information I found was either totally obvious or completely dirty.
I’ve been long distance for over two years now, so I decided it was time to put that experience to use! I’m going to share with you the things that have been helpful for my relationship. Nothing dirty, and more than the obvious. Now’s the time to send this to your significant other and take notes together! Which leads me to tip #1…
Find projects to work on as a team
You’ll never have a good relationship if you can’t work together, right? Even though you won’t be able to do this in person (duh) it’s still possible. The projects you choose can range from just for fun to serious planning. For example, you could play an internet connected game and work on the same side. Or, you could try something with a little more oomph like starting an online business, even a blog!
Not only will this help you learn to work with your SO, it’ll also give you something to consistently talk about. And with that in mind, let’s move on to tip #2…
Ask more questions than necessary
The biggest struggle in an LDR is consistently having things to talk about. There are two ways to help with this. First, ask way more questions than you need to about your SO’s day, even if you already know the answer. Second, find plenty of lists with fun and important things to ask each other. Things like would you rather questions and important things to find out if you truly are compatible. Communication is the only thing you really have in a relationship like this, so learn to do it well. Especially for situations like tip #3…
Since texting is generally how most LDR couples communicate, asking questions for clarity is so essential. We all know that misinterpreting a text is very easy to do. So, instead of getting upset and sending a reply that you might regret, make sure that the other person actually meant what you thought they did. And even if you did interpret the message correctly, keep your cool. One of the benefits of texting is being able to take the time to think your reaction through. React with grace!
Give the gift of time and memories
Not being physically in the presence of your significant other is draining. Constantly checking your phone, not being able to even hold their hand, it’s definitely trying at times. That’s why giving as much time as you can spare to making your relationship work is so important. Sure, you’re so tired that you don’t feel like texting back, but it’ll make all the difference if you do.
Giving actual presents is also very important. But know that it doesn’t have to be something you spend money on. Even sending a handwritten letter is a great gesture. Just having a tangible item from your SO is so helpful when you’re missing them. Of course, sending chocolate or flowers is always nice too *ahem*.
Take action to keep Christ at the center
Christian dating couples hear this phrase frequently. Not being together can make it a little more difficult to follow through on this one, but with a little ingenuity, you can do it! The two best things you can do involve prayer and Bible study.
Make sure you’re both praying for each other and for your relationship. Guys, this is vital! Don’t only pray for the other person, pray that your relationship as a whole will honor God. This includes praying for yourself too. For example, pray that God will work through you to help your SO be the best they can be.
And don’t forget the Bible of course! Find a topic or verse you want to study and discuss it together, whether by text, talking on the phone, or using a video chatting service like Skype. Or, you could find a guided devotional to go through with one another.
Have you ever seen what I call the ‘good love triangle’? The first time I saw it, it really stuck with me. The graphic shows even more emphatically the importance, and benefit, of drawing closer to God. When Each of you is doing that, you’ll also be drawing closer to each other!These tips are based off of the experience of what has worked for my relationship, they’re tried and true! If you’d like more tips, or you have a tip of your own, share in the comments below!
P.S. After searching for a devotional specifically for long distance couples and coming up empty-handed, I began considering writing my own! If you or someone you know would like this, comment below so I can start working on it, woohoo!